Wednesday, November 30, 2005

women and violence

Violence against women is not limited to domestic violence, wife battery, rape, trafficing and forced prostitution. It includes violence in armed conflict, such as murder, systematic rape, sexual slavery and forced pregnancy. It also includes honour killings, dowry-related violence, female infanticide and prenatal sex selection in favour of male babies, female genital mutilation, and other harmful practices and traditions.

Below are just some forms of violence committed against women in the Philippines:

Domestic violence, especially wife beating, is the most wide-spread form of violence committed against women. While, news on domestic violence is nothing new in the Philippines, it recently hogged the limelight so to speak when one member of the "upper-class" came out and told her story.

Recently, Plinky Recto, a tv-personality and Pilates instructor, sister to Sen. Ralph Recto and Vice-Gov. Ricky Recto, grabbed the headlines. Nope, it was not for her effectiveness as a host nor was it for her Pilates business but because she announced to the public that she was a victim domestic violence.

In her numerous interviews, she stated that the four-years she stayed with her partner was a nightmare., that she has a permanent neck injury brought about by the abuse and that her son was "kidnapped" by her partner.

In her numerous statements and inteviews she refused to give the public the name of her partner, stating that he is so influencial and has many "agents" that can make life miserable for her, her families and friends.

Pressed for clues in her interview in the Buzz Sunday, Ms. Recto gave a clue: the man was one of the reasons Gen. Jarque went into exile.

(for more into this matter, you might want to check this site out: - this blog sheds light into the indentity of Ms. Recto's partner as well as issues affecting her case)

Gabriella, the women's activist group is supporting Ms. Recto on this matter. Lets hope that this case will have a positive ending.

Verbal Abuse -- this too is a common form of abuse against women. Wife, girl friends and yes even employees are subjected to this form of abuse. Words such as boba, stupid, good for nothing can and will lead to the decrease of self-worth and confidence of these women, making them feel that they are second rate citizens.

Other forms of verbal abuse are offensive jokes and innuendos on sex, sexuality, gender bias and women.

Violence in War and Conflicts -- In Mindanao, especially in the war torn areas of Jolo, women continue to be affected either directly or inderctly.

Abuses are not limted to sexually assults to women and children as strategies to war, but more on their rights to live as a decent human being. Her (and her children's) right to basic necessities such as food, water and shelter as well as education is deminished.

relationship tips

I got this email from a friend... these advice runs true for any form of relationships.

(My reactions to the "relationship tips" are in italics)

The biggest fear when it comes to a relationship is whether or not a certain person will leave you hurt, heart broken or otherwise affected. What I've found though is that many people open themselves up for potential hurt by not following a few common sense rules. It seems that the desire to be around someone who is interested in you, even if you are "settling" by being with him or her, is worth the risk. If you find yourself in, or afraid of these types of situations, keep in mind the following tips. They just might help you avoid a future hurt.


Find Out Where You Stand

"The unknown is a powerful force. It can drive you crazy, make you doubt yourself and potentially destroy a relationship. Don't let this happen to you! Make sure you know where you stand in your relationship. In the same respect, make sure you continually let your partner know where they stand as well. You'll both be happier, and you'll have an easier time of communicating to each other."

Not knowing where you stand can lead to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt which is really draining emotionally as you continiously feel second best. These feelings could eventually lead to being "makulit" which could trigger fights that could last for days.

Don't Play Mind Games

"The person you are involved with, or about to be involved with, is another being -- just like you. Playing mind games is just another way to increase your chances of getting hurt in the end. Personally, I feel that if you are willing to play mind games with a person, then you don't respect that individual enough for a relationship anyway. So do that person a favor and let him or her go."

While mind games are good for business, it is bad for business, especially if you use jealousy as a leveling factor. This only increases distrust for one another.

The "pa-awa" effect is also one form of mind game used in a relationship. Some who wish to "save" their relationships resort to telling lies such as them being sick or being in the family way and "guilt-trip" their partners into staying with them.

Don't Sleep With Someone You Don't Know Very Well Yet

"This may seem obvious, but for many people it is not. I've heard countless requests for advice which involve a person not sure where they stand with a certain person, yet they've been involved intimately with them. Now they are faced with a potential loveless affair, are completely unhappy, and are being driven by the fear of the unknown. No matter what the urge is, if you are interested in someone for more than just a fling, don't do it until, at the very least, you are clear about the other person's feelings for you. You can avoid many future downfalls by following this tip!"

To aviod getting hurt, the best advice is to get married first before getting into bed with your partner. However, if one can not follow this advice, then at least consider this:
(a) you must be in a committeed, serious relationship where you know where you stand with that person.
(b) be aware of the consequences such as STDs, and pregnancy. There are ways to avoid these such as pills, condoms. Better yet, do it when you are married, that way, both of you avoid the emotional stress that comes with unexpected pregnancy, false alarms and complications / sickness brought about by STDs.

Be Honest With Each Other

"Your honesty, or lack thereof, can either build or destroy your relationship. Be honest with your partner about everything, and expect the same from your partner. Too many times, I see people who have let their partner lie to them about everything, cheat on them, and worse -- yet, they continue to be with them all "in the name of love." That type of love is no love at all. It is clinging to the fact that being with someone, even though they are hurting you, is better than being alone. It is fine, and perfectly reasonable to have strong feelings or affection towards someone, but it is altogether something else when you allow yourself to stay in a relationship that has a negative effect "
on you.

This hits the nail right on the head. I mean, why stay in a realtionship if it does not do both any good. Why be in a relationship when that other person is holding you back or is causing you pain? You are first and formost an individual who can think for yourself. I mean, before having a relationship you have your own life right? Besides, even if you are in a relationship, you should have your own circle of friends (so that you can take a break from him once in a while, hehehe).

Again, honesty is the building block of relationships. Honesty = trust & credibility = love

Don't Settle

"If you know that a person isn't right for you -- go find someone who is. Don't wait to see if the relationship could turn into something better. You'll only find yourself a few years down the line in the same, or in an even worse, situation than you are in now. If you find yourself nit-picking about too many of your partner's traits early in your relationship, think forward to how much these "traits" will bother you after a few years."

Do i need to comment on this??? :) If you won't settle for an inferior brand of shoes, then why settle for a person


"A relationship is 50% your responsibility, and 50% your partner's. Sometimes those numbers change depending on the situation. If you find things going down the wrong path, speak up and do something about it. Don't let it slide, thinking that things will get better. Proclaimed ignorance is not an excuse."

"This is YOUR life, don't be afraid to do things that will make it better."

Now my only wish is that I can follow these tips and my own advice. hehehehe

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


Promises ... easily made and just as easily broken?

Much has been said about giving promises, but the one thing that I go by is never make a promise that you cannot fulfill. For me, a promise is a binding oral contract between oneself and the person you made a promise to... that is why I really feel bad and disappointed when ever a friend breaks a promise.

Keeping a promise increases one's credibility and level of trust.

Most, if not all politicians level of public trust and credibility are eroded because they have broken promises left and right. While this may have become the norm in Philippine politics, it is a disservice to the public.

Trustwortiness = character + integrity = good leader

A person known to keep his promise (a man of his words) has character and integrity -- a leader’s character can make or break an organization. Great leaders inspire because people trust them. Now I see why this country of ours is going down the drain. I mean how could you trust someone who has broken his / her promises not just once or twice but a great many times? How could you trust a person who says one thing, turns around and does something else completely? How could you hold a snake when it has bitten you once?

Trustworthiness is an important factor in any relationship (personal and professional) -- the glue that holds together a family, an organization, a nation. If people don't trust you, how would you possibly lead them? how would they possibly follow your orders?

Saturday, November 12, 2005


got this from a friend. nakakatawa... bwhahaha, attempting to define women scientifically, bwhahaha

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Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Mahathir bin Mohamad's commentary

Mahathir bin Mohamad's commentary on Islam's forsaken Renaissance as published in today's (Nov. 9, 2005) Inquirer.

Mahathir bin Mohamad was prime minister of Malaysia from 1981 to 2003.

Monday, November 07, 2005


Bitin! That is what I felt when it was time for me to fly back to reality that is Metro Manila. Being away from the hustle and bustle of the metropolis made me crave for a more relaxed paced of living. After spending a week in Zamboanga, I wasn’t ready to let go of my family, of the abundant sea food and the relaxed atmosphere that is my hometown.

Life is much simpler there. Everything is just 10-15 minutes away from home… the nearest mall, market, beach, the airport, the seaport and yes, even fast food giants Jollibee, Mc Donalds and KFC -- All the comforts of the province with a taste of Manila. Bwhaha.

Thought I could post an entry or two while vacationing but I guess the "Tamad/Vacation bug" bit me and all I did was laze around the house and enjoy quiet (!?) moments (ie walang work at walang boss), but it seemed that these quiet times were few and far in between as the week as full of activities from the day we (my siblings and I) arrived until our last day in zc.

Had "bukah" / breaking of the fast at my cousin's home. All of our favorite dish were served ("siki sapi", yellow rice, agar-agar, mangoes, fried chicken, turle eggs, etc). Bukah was never this good in Manila. My plate was filled to the brim with food! grabe, umuwi akong bondat! bwahahaha.

Anyways, the week was filled with bonding time with cousins and siblings as well as meeting up with old friends. I had my fill of tula itum, satti (ate satti right after eid prayers, as it is (early am) the best time for satti), pastil, kurma, yellow rice and other native delicacies. I must admit that I think I gained more than a couple of pounds while I was in Zamboanga (Parang hindi nag fast kc mas lalong tumaba during Ramadan)

A day after Eid, my family and I (plus cousins, etc) went to the beach (ang sakit ng sunburn ko!)... we went to a private island where the sand was as fine as that of boracay. Had a great time feasting on native mangoes, fresh fish, barbeque, as well as spending a day in the sun. My siblings and cousins went snorkeling while I stayed near the shore to watch over my nieces. But I was not disappointed as the water was so clear that I can see some starfish and a school of small fish just a few feet away from us. (Will post pictures of the island soon.)

Belated Eid Mubarak to all Muslims!

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