joke time

just want to share this:

A Pinoy went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol. After a couple of beers, the Pinoy sensed that Spielberg was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Pinoy crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious hook from the director.

Picking himself up, he yelled, "Wat da hell is dat por?" Spielberg ranted: "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you ..@@!!....! My dad perished in that bombing!"

"Tang Na! I am not Jafanese, you stufid Nincomfoof! I am Filipino!" exclaimed the Pinoy.

The inebriated director replied, "Yeah yeah yeah ....Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino ...you are all the same."

Regaining his composure, the Pinoy dusted off his white pants, straightened the collar of his loud bird-of-paradise printed shirt, took his seat and ordered a double R&B from the bartender. After a few sips, the Pinoy stood up and delivered his best Jackie Chan karate kick, sending the director flying halfway across the room.

"What was that for?!!" shouted the surprised Spielberg from about fifteen feet away. "Dat's por da sinking of da TITANIC! I had my grandpader on dat shif!" the Pinoy answered back. "You ignorant Chink! The TITANIC was sunk by an iceberg!" exclaimed the director. "Yah yah yah...Iceberg, Sfielberg, Carlsberg... you are all the same."

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A Filipino is enjoying a hearty breakfast - coffee, croissants, toast, butter & jam, etc. when an American, chewing gum, sits next to him and starts an unwanted conversation:- American: "You Filipinos eat the whole bread?"
Filipino : "Of course." American: "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle, rebake them into croissants and sell them to Philippines "
American: "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"
Filipino : "Of course."
American: "We don't. In the States we eat fruit for breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and left overs into containers, recycle them into jam and sell it to Philippines "
Filipino : "Do you have sex in America?"
American: "Of course we do."
Filipino : "And what do you do with the condoms?"
American: "Throw them away of course."
Filipino : "We don't. We put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell it to America."

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A pregnant Pinay lady is involved in a car accident in San Francisco and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother from the Philippines flew in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor says. The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name, guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, "Denephew."

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Tawa naman dyan!