On being a mom

I was not one of those little girls who enjoyed playing "house" nor was i one of those girls who always dreamed about their wedding and prince charming. I was already 35 when i got married. Too set in my ways and having kids was the furthest in my mind. I wanted to focus on my career and also enjoy at least a few months or even a year of honeymoon with hubby before getting pregnant. But life had other plans.

I got married in September 2010. Became a mom in to N in 2011 and to A last year. In two short years, my life has been turned upside down by two adorable angels.

I now enjoy mornings. I used to wake up late on weekends, but now i get to enjoy getting up at 6am. It is now become my Me and A time. Since i exclusively nurse A, I find that early mornings are the perfect time to cuddle and spend quality time with the bunso (before kuya wakes up and gets all possessive).

Early mornings also has become my alone time - my "me time". It gave me time to collect my thoughts, go through my emails, and my daily reads.

Late afternoons and early evenings are also reserved for my kids. Since I am at work 8 hours a day, the only time i get to spend with the kids are at night. Night time baths/showers are my bonding time with N and he knows it. He doesn't want anyone to give him a bath if I am around.

My life now revolves around them. The most i could go out and spend time with friends is around 4-5 hours but I check up on my kids every so often. I did not even want to go out for the first 6 months after i gave birth to A. Dinner dates have to be over in 3 hours. Longer "gimiks" would mean that i would need to pack my pump and ice chest. When shopping for clothes, i always have to look for nursing friendly tops which means limited choices.

I now want to have a project that would keep me near them. I recently made a hard choice of not accepting work since it would mean that i would be away for 8 months.

Having kids means having to make sacrifices and make some hard choices, but hearing their laughter, seeing their faces means that it is all worth it.